“How exactly does a steam-powered gun turret differentiate between friend and foe? I wasn't aware that boiled water could form allegiances.” — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
“What can you do with a character who responds to everything by either punching it or deploying Bat Anti-thing Spray. . . then punching it?” — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
“A good story is like a good bowel movement: it's only really satisfying once it's ended, because if you just keep going eventually your… — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
“The Necromancer's Tower squatted over the river like an incontinent titan.” — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
For me, Modern Warfare 3 's plot makes its signature turn around the bend when Russia invades Europe. As in, all of it. Simultaneously.… — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
“My non American viewers. Who understand that the world does not consist solely of a single nation sailing across an infinite sea of migrant… — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
“I am a crab. I am thinking crabby thoughts. I am tightening my grip on this rock with my big red pincers.” — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
“I realized that the job of a hero is not to save the galaxy, or rescue princesses, or slay all the dragons. That may… — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
“Horrors from beyond the veil of time and space are coming to eat us so shut up, sounds like a pretty good draw card… — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
“I'd sometimes pictured myself bravely sacrificing my life to save another, but my preference had always been that it be someone I actually liked.” — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
“The obedient Pit bull becomes the escaped tiger and it's got a knife” — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
“What were they going to do after killing the president, declare themselves king?” — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
Reality is a cruel and unintuitive place with frustrating gameplay mechanics. (Press X to thanklessly toil your life away) — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
“This is about as simple as games get. There isn't even the paltriest context for what you're doing; you're not exacting revenge on limbless… — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
“It's way too long and I gave up on it. Abandoning forever an innocent child to a hostile and unforgiving land. Sometimes I still… — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
The cruelest thing you can do to an artist is tell them their work is flawless when it isn't — Yahtzee Croshaw Copy Share Image
