I'm husband hunting. Now, I know all the men are going to be gay but at this point, I need a new gay husband. Or, a new lesbian assistant. If you want something done, tell a lesbian and the she'll… — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit a suicide? — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
I should have my own show by now. Yeah. How many damn sitcoms does Kelsey Grammer need? How many more stupid Housewives do they… — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
I'm husband hunting. Now, I know all the men are going to be gay but at this point, I need a new gay husband.… — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
I'm half-Italian and half-Polish. So I'm always putting a hit out on myself. — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
I would just go insane in a public school. I don't have enough clothes.You have to be Heidi Klum to go to public school… — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
My work is a mitzvah for the eyes & ears...and it will help you forget about your problems by thinking about mine for a… — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
I am more comfortable doing comedy, and I want to perform comedy. When you can really make someone laugh, that's a healing experience. It's… — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, "Just wait." — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
“Judy, you don't know nothin' about the South. You don't even know the difference between the North and the South.' I said, 'Oh yes… — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
I think it might be harder for a young comic because there's so much more competition. There's more people trying to do it and… — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
Sorry, I didn't squat and grease myself and be naked next to Kim Lard-ashian. I mean, no matter what you do - excuse me… — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
