I'm husband hunting. Now, I know all the men are going to be gay but at this point, I need a new gay husband. Or, a new lesbian assistant. If you want something done, tell a lesbian and the she'll… — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
This guy says, "I'm perfect for you, 'cause I'm a cross between a macho man and a sensitive man." I said, "Oh, a gay trucker?" — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit a suicide? — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
I should have my own show by now. Yeah. How many damn sitcoms does Kelsey Grammer need? How many more stupid Housewives do they need throwing tables and limbs at each other. Yeah, I guess I need to take off my artificial leg and throw it at Vanderpump. I like doing live shows - it's just getting to them that's… — Judy Tenuta Copy Share
I'm husband hunting. Now, I know all the men are going to be gay but at this point, I need a new gay husband.… — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
I'm half-Italian and half-Polish. So I'm always putting a hit out on myself. — Judy Tenuta Copy Share
I would just go insane in a public school. I don't have enough clothes.You have to be Heidi Klum to go to public school… — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
My work is a mitzvah for the eyes & ears...and it will help you forget about your problems by thinking about mine for a… — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
I am more comfortable doing comedy, and I want to perform comedy. When you can really make someone laugh, that's a healing experience. It's… — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, "Just wait." — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
“Judy, you don't know nothin' about the South. You don't even know the difference between the North and the South.' I said, 'Oh yes… — Judy Tenuta Copy Share Image
