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Funny Quotes by Yogi Berra · Page 2

48 Funny quotes by Yogi Berra

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Congratulstions on breaking my record. I always thought the record would stand until it was broken.

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I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.

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I'd find the fellow who lost it [million dollars], and, if he was poor, I'd return it.

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The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.

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How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don't know how to spell my name.

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Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.

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Ninety percent of putts that are short, don't go in.

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Nothing is like it seems, but everything is exactly like it is.

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More by Yogi Berra

Almost every Monday I have a charity thing. I like that. I do.

A nickel ain't worth a dime.

I never said most of the things I said.

You can have everything you want as long as you don't want it badly enough.

Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical.

Glen Cove. [Referring to Glenn Close on a movie review television show]

Swing at the strikes.

“When you get to the fork in the road…take it!”

I can see how he (Sandy Koufax) won twenty-five games. What I don't understand is how he lost five.

Baseball player: "What time is it?" "You mean now?"

In baseball, you don't know nothing.

Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.

I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.

Yeah? For what paper?

A good time to hit is with men on base, because the pitcher ain't got no place to put you. He's going to get…