I bought a self-help cd online. It was called How to Handle Disappointment. When the package arrived it was empty! — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
When you're home alone and you hear a strange noise & you're just like - _ - WTF! WHO'S THERE?! — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
If you're wrong and you shut up, you're wise. If you're right and you shut up, you're married. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
Mom: YOU'RE GROUNDED. Me: Psh. Fine I don't care. Mom: Give me your phone then. Me: OMG IM SO SORRY MOM I… — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
Have you ever changed a whole text message just because you didn't know how to spell one word? — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when someone isn't texting you back and then you see them update their status from Mobile.. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
2 types of people that annoy me: Drunk people, when I'm sober. Sober people, when I'm drunk. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
I changed my car horn sound to gun shots, people move out of the way much faster now. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
That moment when two strangers are talking about your favorite movie and you're dying to join their conversation. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
Dear shirt, I fell in love with... I hate you. Sincerely, just saw the price tag. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
To all the students who drop out and fail high school: Remember two things, 1. You tried your best. 2. I don't… — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
You never realize what you have until its gone. Toilet paper is a good example. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you wake up from a 5 minute nap and have no idea what day, month or year it is. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
That WTF moment when your toothpaste does a suicide dive off of your toothbrush — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
That moment when you hear your mom mention your name on the phone and all you think is what the hell is… — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
Dear Mobile phone, thank you for being there when I'm in awkward situations. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
Gay people are such great dressers because they've spent a lot of time in the closet. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
When I get in an elevator, before I press a button, I look at everyone inside & say: Are you ready to… — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
Dear people who write on bathroom walls, I don't care who you love. I'm just trying to pee. -_- — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
The best thing to do after a bad breakup is eat alot of ice cream, not get back toghether. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
Facebook is kind of like a refrigerator. You get bored & keep checking, but nothing ever changes — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
When people see you lying down, with your eyes closed they still ask: Are you sleeping? No. I'm training to die — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
I can't take this long distance relationship anymore. Fridge, you're coming to my room. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
When I get in an elevator, before I press a button, I look at everyone inside & say: Are you ready to take this… — Itsme867 Copy Share
You never realize what you have until its gone. Toilet paper is a good example. — Itsme867 Copy Share
To all the students who drop out and fail high school: Remember two things, 1. You tried your best. 2. I don't like pickles… — Itsme867 Copy Share
