I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Your knowledge of wine is almost as impressive as your use of it to disguise your alcoholism. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can't wait for your wedding to be my excuse for getting out of another wedding. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A good-bye is never painful unless you're never going to say hello again — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I was a kid I used to pretend wafer sticks were cigarettes... I was just that badass — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Being fat is nature's way of saying, You're so good, I think I'll make more of you! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are many good reasons for drinking, one has just entered my head, if a man doesn't drink when he's living, how… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear gay men,Please stop being so much kinder,funnier, & more attractive than straight men. Its quite depressing.Sincerely, all single women — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Remind me," he paused, drawing in a stuttered gasp, "to never piss you off again. Christ, are you secretly a ninja? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you think about it he world s one big testicle and all the people are the crabs and all the skyscrapers… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you take relationship advice from Taco Bell hot sauce packets...Congratulations, you have reached rock bottom. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I go to someone's house and they tell me to make myself at home, I throw them out because I don't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You say I'm a bi**h? Well a bi**h is a dog, and dogs bark, and bark is on trees, and trees are… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Have you ever noticed that woman's I'll be ready in five minutes and man's I'll be home in five minutes are exactly… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
