Being fat is nature's way of saying, You're so good, I think I'll make more of you! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I was a kid I used to pretend wafer sticks were cigarettes... I was just that badass — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can't wait for your wedding to be my excuse for getting out of another wedding. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Your knowledge of wine is almost as impressive as your use of it to disguise your alcoholism. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A good-bye is never painful unless you're never going to say hello again — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm going to make a facebook account called No one. Then I'll like random people's status, then it will say No one… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate that feeling when you close your eyes to apply shampoo, and get paranoid that someone will kill you in the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When a fat girl eats a cheeseburger, people think, "Ew, eat a salad." When a fat girl eats a salad, people think,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment; When two of your friends whisper to each other right in front of you and you just sit there… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm so upset. one of my all time FAVORITE Bieber pages got hacked. they had over 45k. it's so sad to see… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have been through tornado warnings before, but this is really scary right now.. There is a siren, and it's really scary. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order of nuggets, and DIS order of wings… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The closest thing you will ever come to a brain storm is a light drizzle. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Mother's Day to someone whom I'm even more dependent on now than when I was in utero. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You're one of the few people I don't mind very briefly communicating with on a Monday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girls work on their looks but not on their minds because they know boys are stupid, not blind. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Even though you have free health care, I hope a firecracker doesn't blow off your thumbs this Canada Day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Add me on kik? I'm also getting a text free so you guys can text me without knowing my real number — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope you get so many wedding gifts that you don't realize there are none from me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses much more; He who loses faith, loses all. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. then walk into a pole. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I drop my phone I act like I've let a newborn baby slip through my hands. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Those embaressing VIDEOS of you & your friends.. trying to take a picture. d: — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
40 is when your body gives your brain a list of things its not going to do anymore. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't like to think myself as 'Special' I like to think myself as limited edition — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Progress is a continuing effort to make the things we eat, drink and wear as good as they used to be. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't you hate it when you're doing push-ups and you lose count after 1,000... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
