“You're asking the cyborg fugitive and the wild animal to be the welcoming committee? That's adorable.” — Marissa Meyer Copy Share Image
Money may not buy you happiness, but it does buy you all the shit you want!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when they use fake dinosaurs in movies.. I can always tell... — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
We've reached the age where we can't function without our glasses. Especially if they're empty...Cheers!!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, I have DirectTV. — Alfonso Martinez Copy Share Image
“Your wife is smarter than you; know this, and you will live happily ever after.” — Matshona Dhliwayo Copy Share Image
Feeding my dog and suddently I saw my neighbour dogs coming, they start to fight over the food,and I'm trying to escape… — Brittannia Calder Copy Share Image
Oh, you hate when guys stare at your boobs? You should call the police and report the person who ripped your top… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My Face book gave too me, 12 stupid bitches, 11 fake friends, 10 FB hackings, 9 new sins 8 play dates, 7… — Denver Mc Copy Share Image
“A professional headshot in front of a bookshelf says you're an intellectual. A professional headshot peeking though a bookshelf says you're probably… — Ryan Lilly Copy Share Image
“I suppose I could get a job to have something to do, but working when I don't have to work would be… — Stephen Reid Andrews Copy Share Image
“GPS has saved countless relationships because us men do not like to ask for directions. Now if women could only come with… — Ken Poirot Copy Share Image
Kissing a woman at her FOREHEAD is respect, at her LIPS is Love, CHEEK is Heroism, and NECK is Lust. BUT KISSING… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I am in the prime of my womanhood, nunga-nungas poised and trembling (attractively). Lips puckered up and in peak condition for a… — Louise Rennison Copy Share Image
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave??? The microwave doesn't brown your sausage — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
“You’re like an oceanic Lassie.” My grin twitched on my face, threatening to tumble over into laughter again.” — Katherine McIntyre Copy Share Image
Its really funny 90% of Indian couple they meet each others one time and the 2nd time they got married. — Jane Amy Gangte Copy Share Image
My doctor was checking my balls for lumps the other day, I think it got awkward when I ran my fingers through… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. No need to remind him every 6 months about it!.. — Joey Tribbiani Copy Share Image
No am not yet a fool am just doing what I think is the best for my life. — Sikhwetha Maanda Stanley Copy Share Image
“You’re gorgeous. You’re sexy. You’re … asking me to cut that dress off you? I’m praying for strength.” — Cristin Harber Copy Share Image
“Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.” — Matshona Dhliwayo Copy Share Image
No I will not share my iPod with you. It's called an iPod, not an UsPod. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are only two types of honest people in this world, small children and drunk people!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I cant even wish u get everything whatever u want cuz I know m also SOMETHING in ur EVERYTHING :P — Komal Copy Share Image
Never Mind. Definition: You should've listened the first 5 times, bitch. — Alfonso Martinez Copy Share Image
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, then it's probably shit!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wanna go to seaworld With a fishing pole just to see what peoples reactions would be — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
The wise never marry...and when they marry they become otherwise!.. — Stephen Hawking Copy Share Image
Teacher: I hope I don't see you copying another student's homework. Me: Yeah, I hope you don't see that either!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
