“What are you? The pregnant MacGyver?” “Best compliment I’ve had in a while.” — Cristin Harber Copy Share Image
“Yeah 220, 221 whatever it takes!" Michael Keaton character in "Mr. Mom” — Mark Buff Copy Share Image
“Even betting against myself, I could always find a way to lose.” — Jonathan Tropper Copy Share Image
“Okay, but would you say between us we have the combined IQ of at least a garden slug?” — Norah Wilson Copy Share Image
“Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet.” — Santosh Kalwar Copy Share Image
“I've endured my entire life struggling from a split personality. The problem is that the other guy, a wise guy named (Jack)...has always… — Timothy Pina Copy Share Image
“Jihadis! Please go to your imaginary heaven - out there, nowhere. Us, the infidel lot, have helluva lot to do after you… — Fakeer Ishavardas Copy Share Image
“Beside me, Philippe and Meg hold hands. He murmurs something that sounds like, "my dear leetle mongoose." I wish he'd turn back… — Alex Flinn Copy Share Image
“Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod.… — Fakeer Ishavardas Copy Share Image
“Now and Laters. Starbust, Pixie Stix. If she gets too bitchy, just feed her this crap. As long as the sugar high… — Gayle Forman Copy Share Image
“You mustn't let men drive you to mangling the English language, no matter how sweet they are.” — Marisa de los Santos Copy Share Image
“You want to break the curse, I want to break the curse. We don't need to be nice. We need to be… — Kate Avery Ellison Copy Share Image
“MY FRIEND: SO DO YOU TAKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CLASS? ME: SURE DO HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS. MY FRIEND:… — KanyaACoffman Copy Share Image
“He was fucking with us pretty hard in the saferoom,” Sandra called from the front of the plane’s undercarriage. “Aw, Sandy, that… — M. Chandler Copy Share Image
With Portlandia, I don't think our intention is always to find something funny. Sometimes the humor comes from taking something really seriously.… — Carrie Brownstein Copy Share Image
I'm a bug on acting, which distinguishes Second City from a lot of other revues. It comes from the character, the behavior,… — Bernard Sahlins Copy Share Image
“Swing low, sweet chariot, comin'for t'carry me home...' was the tune I hummed as I made the beds, and waited for the… — V.C. Andrews Copy Share Image
“Mr. False! No, don't start grabbing the chickens! Better off farmer with no chickens than a load of chickens with no farmer!… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“I’ve been able to make totally insane associations. I can transform a simple toothache into maxillary cancer. An itchy elbow becomes an… — Drica Pinotti Copy Share Image
“This book has been so much fun to write, I have loved getting to know my animal characters even better! This is… — Christine Skippins Copy Share Image
“On my way to the parking lot, in quick succession, I saw students wearing t-shirts which read, “Save the whales. Collect the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Hout! She plays like a man,” Colin said. “I doubt any of us could beat her. You were very fortunate, brother.” “Aye,”… — Elaine Coffman Copy Share Image
“When we entered the first chamber of the dungeon, the stench made me recoil. It smelled like someone had mixed together kerosene,… — Jeaniene Frost Copy Share Image
“Shelly looked around the jamb again as though whatever animal that had been terrorizing her had a weapon. “That doesn’t look like… — Robin Alexander Copy Share Image
“Wait. Like an art museum, or are we talking a history museum? I could tolerate the dinosaur bones and war relics, but… — Victoria Michaels Copy Share Image
“It seems like I've only shut my eyes for a few minutes, but when I open them, I flinch at the sight… — Suzanne Collins Copy Share Image
“If you were smart," Genghis said, "you would have borrowed the silverware of one of your friends." "We never thought of that,"… — Lemony Snicket Copy Share Image
“What was that?” I croaked. Akhol sidestepped into my view and towered over us. “It was a Demon.” “But you said—” “I… — Laura Kreitzer Copy Share Image
“The look in his eyes turned a little wild. "That's the only reason I'm letting you go. If I had any choice--"… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
“Don't worry. Life goes on. With or without you. So, live it, while it's given you.” — Fakeer Ishavardas Copy Share Image
You know what make me laugh? Good, clean, honest humor. Not-trying-to-be-funny humor. — Redman Copy Share Image
