Instead of having a child, I intend to spend my life acting like one. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
My insomnia is so bad that even when I do sleep I dream about lying awake. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Old Saying ¦ Think before you speak. New saying ¦ GOOGLE, before you post. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
Ladies, you are delusional if you think you can give me a hand job better than I can. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
This Is The Beginning Of A New Day! You Have Been Given This Day To Use As You Will! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know why the US can't find Osama Bin Laden? They're using the wrong agency to look for him. Don't send the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Always take your drivers license pic STONED, that way whenever you get pulled over, the cop will think you always look like… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I had Five Guys Burger and Fries for dinner. Now my car smells like the food. Just realized it'd sound bad saying… — Brian Zilinek Copy Share Image
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Leo and she's a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear guys, please do not talk about how big your muscles are and how much you bench. I'd rather watch paint dry.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Perks of knowing me: You can stand beside me and look 100 times more attractive than you actually are ... :P — Anonymous Copy Share Image
LOVE, That delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock {John Barrymore}; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Somebody needs to start a restaurant called, 'Chick-Fil-Atheist' that's only open on Sunday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
On the 12th day of Facebook, Facebook gave to me, 12 pouters pouting, 11 pokers poking, 10 haters hating, 9 dudes I'm… — Bwc Copy Share Image
POKE: If you ever had a crush on me, or still do. LIKE: This status if you think I'm a good friend.… — Eric Shakya Copy Share Image
Facebook is such a stupid thing, which is not gonna let you do anything, It works by holding you back and tied… — Hasan Abid Copy Share Image
I had a bully as a kid. He was dyslexic, so he used to stick Me Kick signs on my back. Then… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Its a new drug thats becoming more potent by the day floating around and got people mind gone worse than crack its… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If the ocean was made of vodka and I were a duck,i would swim to the bottom and never come up. But… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
God is Good, Great, so many things to us. It could of been a coincidence but my prayer did come true, I… — CJ Copy Share Image
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
