You can never really say whats' on your mind, when your family is on Facebook. — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
My penis should make me breakfast on morning. It is always up before I am. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Exit Facebook, close laptop, get into bed, unlock phone, check Facebook … — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've learned to say Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke in 6 languages. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Life would be much easier if mosquitoes sucked, tension instead of blood — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My boyfriend not allowed to spray Axe in public. I've seen the commercials them hoes come out. — Caitlin Copy Share Image
I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
To feel good about yourself, is there a quota on how many other people each day you have to condemn? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If a guy says he's not in mood to talk with a girl. He probably have masturbated few seconds ago. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When people call you photogenic, they're actually trying to tell you that you look uglier than your pics.. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Sweetie, if you opened a book more times than you opened your legs,you might actually get somewhere in life. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A Girl died n went to heaven. . God was surprised to see her heart was still beating. . God asked her,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Illiterate People, If you read something...(probably just on Facebook) the correct past tense spelling is NOT RED The most you may… — LA Watts Copy Share Image
Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People who use chew instead of you, or misspell words on purpose because they think it sounds better, thanks for disrespecting the… — Nathan Schwake Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I dnt understand thoses couples that fight and a minute later write in their status on facebook ugh single . I fight… — Mia Lugo Copy Share Image
*Logs on Chat-site ..looks through friend requests...Aceepts* HEY!!...It's like i've seen you before..just can't remember where..oh! you would'nt happen to have a… — JORdinary_[Ws Copy Share Image
This could be so much more. So much more than a casual kiss, and a quick caress beneath the sheets. This really… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
