It's a play where something went wrong, 'Cause it's five hours, twelve minutes long. If you sit there, my friend, From beginning 'til end, Then your bladder better be strong! — Allan Sherman Copy Share Image
I was having trouble making ends meet, and my beginnings weren't meeting either. — Allan Sherman Copy Share Image
I didn't decide I was crazy until 1952. That's when I began making a steady salary and could afford to be crazy. — Allan Sherman Copy Share Image
Anyone who calls it "sexual intercourse" can't possibly be interested in actually doing it. You might as well announce you're ready for lunch by… — Allan Sherman Copy Share Image
Temples also take into consideration an ability to pay and, in a general sense, do not turn people away if there's a need,. — Allan Sherman Copy Share Image
Well, you might as well imitate your own program because if you don't, someone else will. — Allan Sherman Copy Share Image
I have always lived beyond my means. I am still trying to live beyond my means, but it is getting harder all the time.… — Allan Sherman Copy Share Image
Success is like winning the sweepstakes or getting killed in an automobile crash. It always happens to somebody else. — Allan Sherman Copy Share Image
The difference between reality and unreality is that reality has so little to recommend it. — Allan Sherman Copy Share Image
I had moved out of the Edison Hotel because I couldn't pay the bill and was living at the Lincoln Hotel, where I couldn't… — Allan Sherman Copy Share Image
In Hollywood if you are not working, you are a leper. True, you are probably living in the most expensive leper colony in the… — Allan Sherman Copy Share Image
Even if Scrabble had been invented then, I wouldn't have wanted to play Scrabble, because the highest triple word score in the world would… — Allan Sherman Copy Share Image
