Football player Quotes by Hank Hill

Bobby, some things are like a tire fire, trying to put it out only makes it worse. You just gotta grab a beer and…

— Hank Hill

You can't compete with this guy. He's a football player, and football players know how to treat a woman right.

— Hank Hill

Butane is the bastard gas.

— Hank Hill

I always say - if you plan ahead, then when things happen, you're prepared for them.

— Hank Hill

Son, you're teasin' the gorilla in the monkey house.

— Hank Hill

I am the mac daddy of Hiemlich County.

— Hank Hill

So are you Chinese or Japanese?

— Hank Hill

Worker's comp? Do I look like a hobo to you? No, sir, I am not going on welfare.

— Hank Hill

Bobby, from now on when I ask you how your day was, what I mean is 'how was shop'?

— Hank Hill

If Bobby doesn't love football, he won't lead a fulfilling life, and then he'll die.

— Hank Hill

Bobby, I want to give you this cup. It was made from the finest American steel ever to come out of Pittsburgh, PA.

— Hank Hill

I can't enjoy a party until I know where the bathroom is. You knew that when you married me.

— Hank Hill