“Ostap Bender lay in the dvornik's room, which was warm to the point of reeking, and mentally put the finishing touches on two possible career plans. He could become a polygamist and move peacefully from town to town, dragging behind… — Ilya Ilf Copy Share Image
“Ippolit Matveevich turned even redder, pulled out a tiny notebook, and wrote in a calligraphic hand: 25/4/1927 — rubles issued to Comrade Bender —… — Ilya Ilf Copy Share Image
Americans don't like to waste time on stupid things, for example, on the torturous process of coming up with names for their towns. And really, why strain yourself when so many wonderful names already exist in the world?The entrance to the town of Moscow is shown in the photograph. That's right, an absolutely authentic Moscow, just in the state of… — Ilya Ilf Copy Share
“If you should attempt to maintain that film is an art in conversation with a cultured, intelligent American, he'll just plain stop talking to… — Ilya Ilf Copy Share Image
“It wouldn't have been surprising if the girl suddenly stamped her foot and began: "Comrades! Allow me to summarize the achievements which . .… — Ilya Ilf Copy Share Image
“Investigating Koreiko's case might take a long time," said Ostap. "God only knows how long. And since there is no God, nobody knows. We… — Ilya Ilf Copy Share Image
“She was, after all, a mattress owner and understood the subtleties of life.” — Ilya Ilf Copy Share Image
“So what was in this building before historical materialism?' 'Before what?' 'You know, back then, under the old regime?' 'Oh. Under the old regime… — Ilya Ilf Copy Share Image
“The word "America" has well-developed grandiose associations for a Soviet person, for whom it refers to a country of skyscrapers, where day and night… — Ilya Ilf Copy Share Image
“I am Emir Dynamite!" he shouted, swaying on top of the tall camelback. "If within two days we don't get any decent food, I'll… — Ilya Ilf Copy Share Image
“He was only thirty-eight. His body was clean, well-fed, and benign. He had all his teeth. A fresh Armenian joke stirred in his head… — Ilya Ilf Copy Share Image
