“THE DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY RULES 1. Control or Chaos. One must be in control of all interactions, feelings and personal behavior at all times—control is the major defense strategy for shame. In the less-than-human shameless marriage, both parents may be cocaine… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“SHAME-BASED FAMILY RULES Each family system has several categories of rules. There are rules about celebrating and socializing, rules about touching and sexuality, rules about sickness and proper health care, rules about vacations and vocations, rules about household maintenance and… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
Recovery begins with embracing our pain and taking the risk to share it with others. We do this by joining a group and talking… — John Bradshaw Copy Share
“Generally speaking, most of our vital, spontaneous, instinctual life gets shamed. Children are shamed for being too rambunctious, for wanting things and for laughing… — John Bradshaw Copy Share
“A covert kind of sexual abuse occurs when Dad or Mom talk about sex in front of the children when the age level of… — John Bradshaw Copy Share
I know from my own clinical work that when people are beaten and hurt, they numb out so that they cant feel anymore. — John Bradshaw Copy Share
“Love-that which biologists, nervous about being misunderstood call "attachment"-fuels the bond between dog and master or mistress.” — John Bradshaw Copy Share
“(b) Boundary Violation. This involves children witnessing parents in sexual behavior. They may walk in on it because parents don’t provide closed or locked… — John Bradshaw Copy Share
“A toxically shamed person is divided within himself and must create a false-self cover-up to hide his sense of being flawed and defective. You… — John Bradshaw Copy Share
I define a 'good person' as somebody who is fully conscious of their own limitations. They know their strengths, but they also know their… — John Bradshaw Copy Share
“The ego defense of conversion transforms developmental needs into the need for something else. This could be food, money or excessive attention. In Max’s… — John Bradshaw Copy Share
“In fact, the most paradoxical aspect of neurotic shame is that it is the core motivator of the superachieved and the underachieved, the star… — John Bradshaw Copy Share
“If our primary caregivers are shame-based, they will act shameless and pass their toxic shame onto us. There is no way to teach self-value… — John Bradshaw Copy Share
“If a cat falls out of a high-rise building or a tall tree, it has another trick available: forming a “parachute” by spreading all… — John Bradshaw Copy Share
“In the past, when dogs’ functions were mostly rural, it was accepted that they were intrinsically messy and needed to be managed on their… — John Bradshaw Copy Share
“IDENTIFICATION When victimization takes place the victim often identifies with the persecutor. By so doing the victim no longer feels the helplessness and the… — John Bradshaw Copy Share
