I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. Honest, I only meant to rough him up a bit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My best tweets are when someone take them personnel & instantly unfollow me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, An investment that pays big dividends if you manage to keep up the interest. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Third party auditor is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I feel like today is going to be a good day but I am bringing my shotgun just in case. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
BLOODY HELL FUCKING SHIT GOD DAMNIT I RIPPED MY KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON POSTER! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A very good way to promote civilisation -- if you get a good wife you will be happy, if you get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was walking around with my GF when she started playing a Bieber song on cell & now there's vomit all over… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and... um...… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Something that changes the demeanour of a driver -- there is no longer any effort needed to keep both hands on… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are Tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you mess up a guy's hair, he thinks it's cute. But when you mess up a GIRL'S hair... I hope you… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
