Facebook status Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 11

We all have have that person in our life, we can't live without.

— Nikhil Saluja

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel: Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice; takes care of business.

— Nikhil Saluja

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies, Don't worry - if you haven't found the man of your dreams yet, there's always a vibrator.

— Nikhil Saluja

All women are witches, but if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will probably spare you from black…

— Nikhil Saluja

It's raining cats and dogs. Well, as long as it doesn't reindeer.

— Nikhil Saluja

School: An institute where the child goes to play while the parent goes to pay.

— Nikhil Saluja

There is nothing like love in this world unless you experience it.

— Nikhil Saluja

The only thing I have learned in thirty years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that.

— Nikhil Saluja

What a beautiful day to walk around my city, staring at my phone.

— Nikhil Saluja

No matter how bad your day is going, just remember that somewhere in the world someone just got a pubic hair in…

— Nikhil Saluja

Yeah forgiving someone is easy but being able to trust them again is a totally different story.

— Nikhil Saluja

If her facebook status says in a relationship & it's complicated is it safe to say she fucks other guys?

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't Take It Seriously * When the HUNTER says, Goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots

— Nikhil Saluja

Being at home with loved ones all week has shown me how much I miss my miserable job.

— Nikhil Saluja

When money grows on trees, you can bet there's a lot of grafting going on.

— Nikhil Saluja

The next person who says, Its not the heat, its the humidity will learn that its not my fist, but the impact.

— Nikhil Saluja

Some of the greatest quotes, come from the most uncommon of minds.

— Nikhil Saluja

Imagine meeting someone who understood even the dustiest corners of your mixed up soul.

— Nikhil Saluja

My biggest problem is falling in love with those who retweet me,

— Nikhil Saluja

I just killed a spider and there's blood everywhere because the spider was on my wife's face. I'm a murderer, guys.

— Nikhil Saluja

My best friend told me about a great 80's porn site. I fucking hope he meant the 1980's.

— Nikhil Saluja

A girl gives you breakfast in bed. The woman gives you breakfast and head.

— Nikhil Saluja

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

— Nikhil Saluja

When a woman asks you to guess her age, it's like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to…

— Nikhil Saluja

Honey, you're getting Adele. - How I told my Girl friend she's getting fat.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

— Nikhil Saluja

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

— Nikhil Saluja

When a waitress brings the food, old men look at the food while young men look at the waitress.

— Nikhil Saluja

I was arrested after my therapist suggested I take something for my kleptomania.

— Nikhil Saluja

Every year, I start to realize how stupid I was the year before.

— Nikhil Saluja

Math: 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year

— Nikhil Saluja

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

— Nikhil Saluja

I have learned there is little difference in husbands; you might as well keep the first.

— Nikhil Saluja

Every father thinks that his son is an idiot, but only my dad is right.

— Nikhil Saluja

Yesterday, I came home early from work and found my Girlfriend cheating. The lazy bitch has hired a maid for cooking.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes I'll see a girl jogging that's so sexy, I'll jog directly behind her ass until she gets home.

— Nikhil Saluja

Using Viagra to masturbate is a hardest time in every man's life...

— Nikhil Saluja

Doctor: A person who kills your disease with pills and you with bills.

— Nikhil Saluja

That moment when you have to beg yourself to stop crying and tell yourself, 'Be Strong'

— Nikhil Saluja