I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough. — Jay London Copy Share Image
I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger. — Jay London Copy Share Image
At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you? — Jay London Copy Share Image
I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world. — Jay London Copy Share Image
I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who? — Jay London Copy Share Image
I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it. — Jay London Copy Share Image
I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out. — Jay London Copy Share Image
