“Mrs. Palmer is a teacher so naturally I assumed she would never do anything good for me.” — Jim Benton Copy Share Image
“There are four categories of questions Emmily asks: 1. Can I please go to the bathroom? 2. Where is the bathroom? 3. Is it okay if I raise my hand and ask a question? 4. I don't understand anything you've… — Jim Benton Copy Share Image
“Okay, Dumb Diary, school has taught me a few things over the years. Once, it taught me the difference between alligators and crocodiles. (Even… — Jim Benton Copy Share Image
Kissing the frog to get the prince is a waste of a perfectly good frog. — Jim Benton Copy Share Image
This means that I don't have to run faster than the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal, I just have to run faster than whoever is with me when… — Jim Benton Copy Share Image
How Superheroes Make Money: - Spider-Man knits sweaters. - Superman screw the lids on pickle jars. - Iron Man, as you would suspect, just… — Jim Benton Copy Share Image
“The following ten throws went a variety of places. I never hit the target, but I was getting closer. Isabella was laughing so hard… — Jim Benton Copy Share Image
I had the great idea of using markers to gently color the ants so I could tell them apart, but I learned that this… — Jim Benton Copy Share Image
He giggled like a puppy being tickled by a kitten wearing a duckling costume. — Jim Benton Copy Share Image
“Mrs. Palmer is a teacher so naturally I assumed she would never do anything good for me.” — Jim Benton Copy Share Image
I can't imagine the scientists wanting me to walk into the lab and start fiddling around with some big bowl of electrons they had… — Jim Benton Copy Share Image
The Destructive Arts are exactly like Martial Arts, except they don't have uniforms or usefulness and the end result doesn't resemble art in any… — Jim Benton Copy Share Image
