I'm sorry I'm not more cultured. I'll watch PBS. And cut people open for fun. Will that be better? Will you be less embarrassed to be my fledgling then? — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
Well, I always did want to go out in a Braveheart kind of way. I'll just have to think of something cool to yell before they cut my head off. — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
If I venture into the water in a bikini, the sight of my melanin-deficient Michigan belly might attract beluga whales. Sure, I could secretly… — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
Its far easier to brush off death if the death in question seems impossible or improbable as a personal threat. — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
Occasionally, the horrors of life in North Korea do show up in our American satire. — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
Because Melissa McCarthy actually is a fat woman, she isnt allowed to make brash statements about body acceptance. She has to apologize for her… — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
Every child deserves to see themselves in stories they can enjoy, but it isn't the place of white people to decide how and why… — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
I have to go. I have a finite amount of life left and I don't want to spend it arguing with you. — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
It was the damnedest thing, life. Once you decide exactly how things are going to go, something or someone comes along and messes it… — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
“You know, there comes a time in everyone's life when they have to carefully examine the goals they've set for themselves. When they have… — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
“I glanced down at the dumbbel and pictures it flying across the room- at his face. But it was sch a nice face, andI'd… — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
I'd never been a good damsel in distress. I was a "hands-on" damsel. — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
“What?” I whined, and tried to push his hands away. He cursed and gripped me tighter. “Wake up!” he yelled. When I didn’t, he… — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
Social media reactions to celebrity death have taken on a predictable pattern: an outpouring of shock with expressions of grief, followed by a ghoulish… — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
