“Computer, can you translate the signs he made?” “Yes. Here is what Dr. Holtz signed: ‘I am being murdered—’ ” — Stuart Gibbs Copy Share Image
“that none of the locks on the toilet stalls in the common restroom worked.” — Stuart Gibbs Copy Share Image
“the entire world, sharks kill fewer than ten people a year, while coconuts falling from trees take out 150.” — Stuart Gibbs Copy Share Image
“Apparently, it was common for children to participate in the Civil War, and thus, lots of fathers had brought their sons along for a… — Stuart Gibbs Copy Share Image
“We have gathered here today to honor Benjamin Ripley for being the first person to ever regurgitate a wombat through a flugelhorn.” — Stuart Gibbs Copy Share Image
“There were rumors that at age three Erica had thwarted a trio of bank robbers with only a juice box and a Slinky.” — Stuart Gibbs Copy Share Image
“Erica approached a door marked RESTRICTED: DO NOT ENTER WITHOUT AUTHORIZATION, then jimmied the lock and entered without authorization.” — Stuart Gibbs Copy Share Image
“DVD into the hard drive, then brought up the file. It was quite large—a few hours of footage from multiple cameras—so it took a… — Stuart Gibbs Copy Share Image
“The principal wasn’t using his normal office because I’d blown it up by firing a mortar round into it. (It was an accident.)” — Stuart Gibbs Copy Share Image
“my dormitory had been waiting to have its septic system replaced since before the Berlin Wall fell.” — Stuart Gibbs Copy Share Image
“To my surprise, the toilet began to play music. It was probably supposed to be comforting, some sort of melody to soothe you while… — Stuart Gibbs Copy Share Image
