The key is to commit crimes so confusing that police feel too stupid to even write a crime report about them. — R. K. Milholland Copy Share Image
Ed Wood served a great purpose - mainly making writers feel better about their work. — R. K. Milholland Copy Share Image
It's not a matter of whether or not someone's watching over you. It's just a question of their intentions. — R. K. Milholland Copy Share Image
Nothing like a lot of exercise to make you realize you'd rather be lazy and dead sooner. — R. K. Milholland Copy Share Image
That's the thing about marriage. It's a shell game we play with ourselves. We're the suckers and we have to lose, but we play… — R. K. Milholland Copy Share Image
Could you imagine how horrible things would be if we always told others how we felt? Life would be intolerably bearable. — R. K. Milholland Copy Share Image
Why do we have to wait for special moments to say nice things or tell people we care about them? — R. K. Milholland Copy Share Image
The grass is always greener once you don't have to mow a lawn anymore. — R. K. Milholland Copy Share Image
You can't show love to someone at the expense of someone else who loves you. — R. K. Milholland Copy Share Image
Lies are like children. If you don't nurture them, they'll never be useful later. — R. K. Milholland Copy Share Image
The shortest verse in the Bible is 'Jesus wept.' The only thing wrong with it is the past tense. — R. K. Milholland Copy Share Image
Sometimes old things need to go away. That way, we have room for the new things that come into our lives. — R. K. Milholland Copy Share Image
That's the thing with suicide pacts. Sometimes they only really work if they catch you by surprise. — R. K. Milholland Copy Share Image