And home pregnancy tests? They are so last century. Nowadays, I think there's an app that calls your iPhone to warn you that if you finish that third cosmo, you may wind up with a wombmate. — Lizz Winstead Copy Share Image
The political satirist usually votes against their own interests, but the bottom line is that it doesn't really matter. — Lizz Winstead Copy Share Image
In an odd way, my parents were proud of me. When they saw me do stand-up, I'd see them looking around the room and… — Lizz Winstead Copy Share Image
Opportunities present themselves to me. That's how my whole life has been pretty much. I've been lucky. — Lizz Winstead Copy Share Image
Since we are made up of comedians and filmmakers and writers and improvisers, we have the unique opportunity to bring joy to people who… — Lizz Winstead Copy Share Image
I think the craziest thing I heard, and this guy's not even nominated, he's from Texas...he said there's no reason that women shouldn't carry… — Lizz Winstead Copy Share Image
One of the first things Catholic school taught me is that babies were born sinners. You sucked before you took your first breath. — Lizz Winstead Copy Share Image
Nebraska is proof that hell is full and the dead are walking the earth. — Lizz Winstead Copy Share Image
If you are very religious, and your religion teaches you that conception equals a baby, I don't know how I'm ever going to win… — Lizz Winstead Copy Share Image
Commit a little bit more to the world outside of your own life. Get people talking. — Lizz Winstead Copy Share Image
Write a smart joke and people want to talk about it and keep the dialogue going. Also, if you can make someone laugh, it's… — Lizz Winstead Copy Share Image
