At the Emmys, you've got a bunch of people who are used to being on TV on TV. You don't have that at the Oscars. At the Oscars, you have people who are used to having 40 takes. — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
There's an air of mystery around the Masons, but the reality is that they're mostly a bunch of veterans getting drunk in a lodge that they've built to look like a temple. It's just a bunch of guys trying to… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
“Aren't all marriages kind of gay? As a man, when you get marries, essentially what you're saying is 'I will never touch another woman… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
No matter who it is, I hate to see people losing their jobs. I really do. — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
Hurricane Katrina has been particularly hard on President Bush, who was forced to end his vacation two days early. He was supposed to be… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
At the Emmys, you've got a bunch of people who are used to being on TV on TV. You don't have that at the… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
I don't want to ruin it for you, but at the end, Voldemort kills Harry with a fairly vivious atomic wedgie. — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
When I was on the radio, I used to be able to go a lot farther than I can now. You don't really remember… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
You can say Pizza Hut is terrible pizza, but they also sell more pizzas than anybody else. — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
