“Not knowing how to regulate their own painful, aversive feelings, such as shame and anger, makes people with BPD walking powder kegs. Because of their deficits, they tend to regulate emotional pain with actions that bring quick, short-term relief, such… — Valerie Porr M.A Copy Share Image
“Gwen, a woman with BPD, talks about her inability to decipher the world around her. “On the day I was born, all the newborn babies got on a line to meet God and to get their How to Act in All Situations Throughout Life book. When it was my turn, God had run out of the book. Ever since that… — Valerie Porr M.A Copy Share
“People with BPD spend a great deal of their emotional energy worrying about past pain or potential future problems. “If I do that, this… — Valerie Porr M.A Copy Share Image
“they may pontificate that the suicide attempt was merely a ploy to gain attention or to manipulate others. No matter what may have motivated a suicide attempt, the family has just experienced the terrifying possibility that their loved one might have died. Trivializing a suicide attempt invalidates a family’s grief and despair. They may bury their feelings of grief and… — Valerie Porr M.A Copy Share
“It is not necessary to get into a fight with someone because you feel angry; aggressive behavior does not have to be a knee-jerk… — Valerie Porr M.A Copy Share Image
“This painful mental illness is not fair, but saying it is not fair does not change anything. Thinking that you should not have to… — Valerie Porr M.A Copy Share Image
“If you want to pull someone out of a deep hole, do you jump in after her? Now that you are in the hole with her, you will not be able to help her out. When you observe that your loved one has a problem, and you jump into it, flounder in the problem pool, and swim laps with her,… — Valerie Porr M.A Copy Share
“Willingness is giving up trying to control behaviors or outcomes. By giving up control you can do what is needed in any situation. Willingness… — Valerie Porr M.A Copy Share Image
“It is very difficult to go through life when your core belief about yourself is that you are incompetent and do not count. When you have no sense of your own value, you are like a leaf in the wind, dependent on what others think of you to know who you are. In order to attain a better quality of… — Valerie Porr M.A Copy Share
“Radical acceptance requires being open to fully experiencing your own life, as it is, without wishing it were not so and without pretending it… — Valerie Porr M.A Copy Share Image
“People with BPD tend to judge themselves and others in extreme ways. They will often use excessively positive terms, idealizing or glorifying, or excessively… — Valerie Porr M.A Copy Share Image
“Western culture does not encourage validating someone’s emotional responses, as emotional awareness of daily interactions is counterintuitive to how we normally react. In today’s… — Valerie Porr M.A Copy Share Image
“Think of your loved one as living in a different culture. Get to know his culture, learn to speak his language. Because you are… — Valerie Porr M.A Copy Share Image
