In most betting shops you will see three windows marked 'Bet Here', but only one window with the legend 'Pay Out'. — Jeffrey Bernard Copy Share Image
It's one thing to ask your bank manager for an overdraft to buy 500 begonias for the borders in Haslemere, but quite another to seek financial succour to avail oneself of the 5-2 they're offering on lie de Bourbon for… — Jeffrey Bernard Copy Share Image
In most betting shops you will see three windows marked 'Bet Here', but only one window with the legend 'Pay Out'. — Jeffrey Bernard Copy Share Image
My misdeeds are accidental happenings and merely the result of having been in the wrong bar or bed at the wrong time, say most… — Jeffrey Bernard Copy Share Image
Oh, the self-importance of fading stars. Never mind, they will be black holes one day. — Jeffrey Bernard Copy Share Image
There's nothing undignified about lying about all day and being waited on by servants, sipping bloody champagne. — Jeffrey Bernard Copy Share Image
I was under the care of a couple of medical students who couldn't diagnose a decapitation. — Jeffrey Bernard Copy Share Image
Oh, to me not drinking is like being dead, almost. I sit here taking endless journeys down memory lane. It gets boring. — Jeffrey Bernard Copy Share Image
They smoke cigarettes professionally. The smoke is inhaled very sharply and the teeth are bared.Then the head turns to give you a profile and… — Jeffrey Bernard Copy Share Image
A lot of girls annoy me who go to university - one girl told me she was going to Oxford because it was something… — Jeffrey Bernard Copy Share Image
What a pity people don't take as much trouble with their own breeding as intelligent racehorse owners do. But then I suppose it is… — Jeffrey Bernard Copy Share Image
But you've got to have money for comfort, which obviously doesn't matter as much when you're young, but even so. I always like to… — Jeffrey Bernard Copy Share Image
When I was a boy, I naively thought that this thing called happiness would be something I would wake up to find every day… — Jeffrey Bernard Copy Share Image
The only reason I would have liked to have gone to university is because I like cricket. Not a very good reason to want… — Jeffrey Bernard Copy Share Image
