I used to be a knife-sharpener but I couldn't stand the daily grind. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some women need to walk around with a stripper pole to match their outfit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'd get a lot more sleep if I didn't insist on reading the entire internet every night. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye reel Gode. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Tip: Speak English. Kiss French. Drive German. Dress Italian. Spend Arab. Party Caribbean. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
For the 5th time: I don't wanna come to your cat's birthday party Freak! My dog is getting married that day! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A condition where no wife gets what she expected, and no husband expected what he was getting; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Give a compliment to a fat chick today, she'll literally remember you until the day she dies... Because elephants never forget. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, A temporary insanity curable by marriage or the removing of the patient from the influences under which he or she incurred… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, In Japanese is called Judo -- the art of conquering by yielding. This is the western equivalent of Yes, dear; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically Converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses. I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate Walmart. The men's bathroom doesn't have any urninals! Just a bunch of women screaming telling me to get out — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE CEREMONY, a ritual which should be written (o cut down on divorces) -- by adding a line to the groom's questions… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A rite where two people, under the influence most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, are required… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
