I see my large nose, like half an avocado. I broke it falling downstairs when I was six, and it now resembles a large blob of play-dough. — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
Acting in a stage play is like working the evening shift in an office. — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
I read 'Crime and Punishment' years ago and don't recall the details of it, but I do retain a strong sense of the creeping… — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
I've noticed that my resolutions involve me not doing stuff that I wasn't going to do anyway so here's something more positive. I'm going… — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
A female friend who caught me watching Fashion TV reckons its audience is largely made up of slobbering men who are just taking a… — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
The moon puts on an elegant show, different every time in shape, colour and nuance. — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
The Romantic poets were the prototype ramblers, and I've often found myself following in their footsteps - although perhaps not all of their footsteps… — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff… — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
Sometimes it's good to do something that you've never done before, so yesterday, I went out to buy Elton John's new album. — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
I find it hilarious that there are academics who try to analyse chemical changes in the brains of students while exposing them to gags. — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
My sister-in-law believes that few narratives are so tightly constructed that you can't skip boring bits and still keep abreast of what's going on. — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
The pun exists in a social and political void, caring nothing for the issues of its day, content merely to display itself in its… — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
