House: Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person? Cuddy: Are you high? House: If it's Tuesday, I'm wasted. Cuddy: It's Wednesday. — House MD Copy Share Image
House: I assume 'minimal at best' is your stiff upper lip British way of saying no chance in hell. Chase: I'm Australian. House: You… — House MD Copy Share Image
Clinic Patient: I wasn't trying to off myself. House: No, you were trying to kill the wall. — House MD Copy Share Image
Cuddy: Oh, why do you have to make everything so dramatic? House: Because I'm a very high-strung little lapdog *yips* — House MD Copy Share Image
Lydia: And who's going to carry you when you're carrying the cello? House: Yes, cast aside the useless cripple. How very German of you. — House MD Copy Share Image
Cameron: You can't diagnose that without a biopsy. House: Yes, we can, we treat it. If she gets better we know that we're right.… — House MD Copy Share Image
Wilson: If you need to talk, if you need more help, I'm right here. House: Great. Can you be 'right here' somewhere else? — House MD Copy Share Image
“You're on a plane! We're all on planes. Life is dangerous and complicated and... it's a long way down.” — House MD Copy Share Image
Cuddy to House: l'll be on your couch with a shotgun, in case you try to make a limp for the border. — House MD Copy Share Image
House: If I forget about her, can I have my carpet back? Cuddy: NO! House: If I forget about the carpet, can I have… — House MD Copy Share Image
Wilson: They could build monuments to your self-centeredness. House vs. God — House MD Copy Share Image
