Many a standing ovation has been caused by someone jumping to his feet in an effort to beat the rest of the audience to the parking lot. — Earl Wilson Copy Share Image
If you think nobody cares if youre alive, try missing a couple of payments — Earl Wilson Copy Share Image
Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back. — Earl Wilson Copy Share Image
You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten. — Earl Wilson Copy Share Image
Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their… — Earl Wilson Copy Share Image
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen. — Earl Wilson Copy Share Image
Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. — Earl Wilson Copy Share Image
An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes. — Earl Wilson Copy Share Image
To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible. — Earl Wilson Copy Share Image
The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election. — Earl Wilson Copy Share Image
