I once knew a girl who didn't know where anywhere was in the world. Not a clue. I asked her if she knew where Africa was and she answered, 'Is it the orange one on a map?' — Matt Roper Copy Share Image
I have two vintage typewriters. One just about works and the other hasn't a hope in hell, bless it. But they're both beautiful, and… — Matt Roper Copy Share Image
I'm the worst ad anyone could possibly be for abstaining from anything. — Matt Roper Copy Share Image
I once knew a girl who didn't know where anywhere was in the world. Not a clue. I asked her if she knew where… — Matt Roper Copy Share Image
Looking through family photographs now is like watching an episode of 'Dad's Army.' My relatives seem to drop like flies around me. Who's next?… — Matt Roper Copy Share Image
I've spent so much of my adult life in relationships that it's actually quite pleasant to be alone at last. I turned thirty-six the… — Matt Roper Copy Share Image
Milk which is just about to turn is akin to that moment spent on the cusp of failure in a dulled and fettered relationship. — Matt Roper Copy Share Image
I like a decent funeral, and God knows in my family we've seen enough of them. Looking through family photographs now is like watching… — Matt Roper Copy Share Image
