The barkeep sliced a lime in half, squeezed the juice from…

“We put the fun in dysfunction.”

— William Lashner

“We were, all of us, prisoners of our character, unable to alter our true inner natures. When we said we had changed, what had…

— William Lashner

I try to write stories that are thrilling and full of mystery and funny all at the same time, stories that raise moral questions…

— William Lashner

If he ever had a bright idea it would be beginner's luck.

— William Lashner

“Unlike the rest of you, I cheerfully admit to my own utter selfishness. I am self-made, self-absorbed, self-serving, self-referential, even self-deprecating, in a charming…

— William Lashner

“It’s all part of the bartender’s creed: make them fresh, make them cold, but most of all, if they’re a little overeager, make them…

— William Lashner

“That was part of the job, to pretend to listen, to feign concern. There are three professions who play at that game; barkeeps are…

— William Lashner

“I received some really bad news. I’m not okay.” A bolt of terror slashed through me. She had some sort of disease, I could…

— William Lashner

“There I sat, in the wreckage of my apartment, in the wreckage of my life – no love, no prospects, a gnawing sense of…

— William Lashner

“Class divisions as clear as those between Harrington and myself always bring out my best, or at least my most petty.”

— William Lashner

“The campus was Disney-fascist, a relentlessly upbeat place to wither and die.”

— William Lashner

“It was still quiet at the bar, early afternoon, before the happy-hour crowd arrived with their after-work bonhomie, and even as the barkeep kept…

— William Lashner

“I expect to lose. I always do. And life seems eager to exceed my expectations.”

— William Lashner

“Everyone has something to teach you, Duddleman, if you can bear to stay quiet enough to listen.”

— William Lashner

“Life is unbearably perverse; that which we most seek to avoid always becomes unavoidable.”

— William Lashner