All you men do is rape us. With your eyes, your laws, your…

“John, let me make one thing clear,” Jim said, cutting me off in his most stern, evangelical voice. “Every man is blessed with his…

— David Wong

Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth?

— Nikhil Saluja

“So … penises, right? I mean … just wow, so many penises. What would a girl even do with that many penises together in…

— Jane Washington

“Or maybe you know how two-hundred Post-it notes with pictures of penises drawn on them were glued to every inch of my desk.”

— Tara Sivec

“I can't learn everything in a few months, Charles. Magic came first. Stupid hierarchy of egotistical penises had to take a backseat." "Penises don't…

— Anonymous

Men's brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.

— Bette Midler

“Shit! I need to tell him about the other penises in my life.”

— B.J. Harvey

I don't write very much about penises. More than some poets but not perhaps as much as I should.

— Rachel Zucker

Patrice: Don't worry, we're all doctors here, so we've seen plenty of penises.

— No Strings Attached (Movie

Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or die.

— Eugene Mirman

If he's at this party, I want you to stay far away from him." "Shouldn't that rule apply to you, and Jules, too? Unless…

— Suzanne Brockmann

I'm not a real big fan of penises. Like my own, whenever I look at it, I just don't find anything attractive about it.…

— Pete Wentz

“There was said to be measuring of penises at the Orchid, but was it true and if so what did that mean?”

— Larry McMurtry

Penises are literally all around me all the time, and have a lot of influence on the world, on my world.

— Rachel Zucker

“I grew up watching my father make plates that featured penises as centerpieces. Pink, proud, and stiff, encircled by cerulean Greek key, Dad’s creations…

— Royal Young