Great. Now I knew what his penis looked like. I could…

If enough money is involved and enough people believe that two plus two equals five the media will report the story with a straight…

— Susan Jacoby

“She glanced over her shoulder at him. “So until the wedding ceremony in your chapel, we’ll be chaste?” Her smile flirted and taunted, and…

— Christina Dodd

“Innocent? Is that supposed to be funny? An obese man... a disgusting man who could barely stand up; a man who if you saw…

— John Doe

“Once you confessed to someone that you had been very depressed when dining with her several months earlier. She was stunned, discovering her blindness…

— Édouard Levé

“He alienated his friends in the sciences by thanking them extravagantly for scientific advances he had read about in the recent newspapers and magazines,…

— Kurt Vonnegut

“It's painful to believe that the would-be 'public servants' you're forced to choose between are all phonies whose only real concern is their own…

— David Foster Wallace

“I want you both to show me how much you know about each other,” he began. “I want you both to make me a…

— Ree Drummond

“Dimity said, "I wrote him poetry!" (...) "Dimity," Sophronia said, horrified by such an admission, "you didn't give him the poetry, did you?" "Certainly…

— Gail Carriger

I have always believed that the key to a happy marriage was the ability to say with a straight face, 'Why, I don't know…

— Judith Martin

“You said she works at an ice-cream shop around here, right?” He made a big show of wiping the sweat off his brow. “Come…

— Julie James

I don't think anybody can with a straight face say that the Russians did not set out to influence our election, and they did…

— Stephen Colbert

It’s not enough to be able to lie with a straight face; anybody with enough gall to raise on a busted flush can do…

— Robert A. Heinlein

No one in their right mind can say to me with a straight face that the Patriot Act has not aggregated the Fourth Amendment.

— Peter Camejo

Knew it from the start, nah somethin wasn't right/ Felt somethin different when I looked into your eyes/ Things change, re-arrange, won't ever be…

— Tactics

“She narrowed her eyes at him. She wanted to tell him that it was his fault, that she would never have tripped if he’d…

— Kimberly Derting