Intense spirited kids need to hear phrases like: You are…
““Intense spirited kids need to hear phrases like: You are enthusiastic. You are expressive and lively. That can be frustrating. You are very upset, but you are a problem solver and will figure out what to do. Being intense does not mean being aggressive. I’m wondering if you are feeling anxious, angry, sad (or whatever the emotion might be). Your body gets very excited. When kids hear these messages over and over again, they are able to turn them into “I” messages. An intense spirited child can learn to tell himself: I am getting upset I’m going into the red zone. I can be angry without hurting someone. I am really excited. I like being enthusiastic. My blood is starting to boil. I need to step out of here. I’m feeling crabby. I experience very strong emotions, but I don’t have to let them overwhelm me. By giving them the words, we give them the tools to get their needs met appropriately.””
About This Quote
This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.
Intense children need clear emotional labels and coping tools so they can recognize, express, and regulate strong feelings without acting out.
In simple terms: Give kids words for feelings to help them manage emotions.
Key Takeaway
Teach kids to name and handle emotions.
Themes
emotional intelligence
self-regulation
parenting
child development
Mood
empathetic
supportive
Type
advice
educational
When to use this quote
- classroom
- home
- therapy sessions
- parent‑child conversations
Key Concepts
psychology
neuroscience
communication
Questions to Reflect On
- How can parents reinforce calm strategies?
- What language best supports a child’s self‑awareness?
A Different Perspective
Children may still act impulsively despite labeling emotions.