I've heard every pie joke in the book. I'm still waiting…

“Joke in book: "You know the difference between a brownnoser and a shithead, right? Depth perception.”

— Elisabeth Naughton

In order for American Pie to have worked, you have to have a character who, even while he is humping a pie, the audience…

— Jason Biggs

You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.

— Jason Biggs

A girl came up to me in a bar and said she wanted to be my apple pie. I wish I'd said something cool,…

— Jason Biggs

Well, I'm proud to say American Pie was the kind of crazy, gross-out film that guys thought was the greatest.

— Jason Biggs

And the bigger the fall, the bigger the joke. It would be better fun to throw a custard pie at a bishop than at…

— George Orwell

Positive thinking is so firmly enshrined in our culture that knocking it is a little like attacking motherhood or apple pie.

— Srikumar Rao

“If you have half a nothing - sell it for a double something, resell half at double-price, and buy another something and a half…

— Will Advise

The fact that I was a junkie for a long time is only one slice of my own personal pie, which is made up…

— Anthony Kiedis

Sermons are like pie-crust, the shorter the better.

— Austin O'Malley

I was born imagining myself with an apron on, with pies cooling on the window sill and babies crying upstairs. I thought that all…

— Carrie Fisher

I like to make pies. That's kind of my new obsession - peach, blueberry, apple, strawberry. I make a really good pumpkin pie with…

— Morgan Saylor

I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat us kids down…

— Jack Handey

Lord, you're Irish," said Will. "Can you make things that don't have potatoes in them? We had an Irish cook once when I was…

— Cassandra Clare

Except for the scale of the operation, there was nothing unusual about Hitler's massacre of the Jews. Genocide's an old tradition, as human as…

— Edward Abbey