Ok, this is the most unfun threesome I have ever been a…

Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman.

— Green Monk

“having sex with her boss.”

— Stephen Henning

Killing became the same thing as having sex.

— Henry Lee Lucas

“I get maudlin. Some people drink; some get depressed; some run around having sex with anyone with a pulse. Me, I get philosophical. It’s…

— Rachel Caine

“Kerry had headed up the back stairs of the pub, and even as exhausted as she was, she’d still found it impossible to wipe…

— Donna Kauffman

Never film yourself having sex. You think you'll look powerful and vital, but you don't. You look like a sick, shivering polar bear.

— Ben Affleck

“To be clear, the Roman Empire didn’t end because everybody was having sex. No civilization was ever toppled by “too much sexy time”—except for…

— Jennifer Wright

I agree that biphobia is real, but I think it's absolutely worth considering that someone who "despises" having sex with her husband - and…

— Mallory Ortberg

“Finally, Beth said, "I thought you already were a couple." "No. We were having sex.”

— Terri Osburn

At Ohio State University, to avoid being guilty of 'sexual assault' or 'sexual violence,' you and your partner now apparently have to agree on…

— Rush Limbaugh

For the record, Claire Marsden and I are not having sex.

— Sarah Mayberry

I think that a lot of men, especially once they're married, feel like their girl is just who she is, so don't treat her…

— Andrew Dice Clay

“You don't just decide to have sex because you feel like having sex. You decide to have sex once you realize you're in love…

— Sarah Mlynowski

Smoking one cigarette shortens your life by 14 minutes, but having sex lengthens it by 12 minutes. So smokers: screw for your lives!

— Nikhil Saluja

Heavy petting, that was fun! That was good. And frankly, you know I wish kids would go back to it. It's very satisfying. And…

— Judy Blume