Instead of getting a paper and a pen, you get the video…

“Instead of getting a paper and a pen, you get the video camera out, along with a chair. Youre standing on the chair. You decided to go with the rope¦ youre gone instantly and there will be no noise. One side of the rope is tied to the top of your fan and the other is already around your neck. Youre in tears, you know its for real this time. You turn on the video camera and just stare at the red light blinking upon your eyes. You start to mumble out a few words. Mom and dad, Im sorry. I dont know why Im sorry, but Im sorry. I cant do this anymore. Please dont blame yourself, please. I love you both, and tell my siblings the same. Ill see you all soon. You say sorry to your best friend because you know you wont be there for her/him anymore when she/he needs you more than ever. You say sorry to everyone you could think of¦ even yourself. Youre sorry for not being strong anymore. Youre sorry for breaking down. Youre sorry for putting them through so much pain in their life. You stare, once again, at the red light blinking upon your eyes.One foot is off the chair now as you begin to mouth the word goodbye. You have the remote control to turn off the camera in your hand. You clicked the off button and as soon as you see that light go off, you go off. Both feet are now off the chair¦ the chair is on the floor¦ the room is filled with silence.”

— Im Nothing