The remedy now is two scotches and an aspirin, I think.

Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said "Anybody got an aspirin? I think I've got a cold."

— Denis Leary

I was a drinker, so I went through the scotches. Before single malts hit, there were really cheap scotches, because nobody was paying attention…

— Lewis Black

I don't even take aspirin.

— Eric Davis

You know, back in my days, they used Bayer aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees, and it wasn't that costly.

— Foster Friess

The sense of a long last night over civilization is back again.

— Norman Mailer

The pressure gets worse the older you get. The hole starts to look the size of a Bayer aspirin.

— Gary Player

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two aspirin and…

— George Sand

We are close to dead. There are faces and bodies like gorged maggots on the dance floor, on the highway, in the city, in…

— Norman Mailer

Nancy [Kassebaum] and I worked on a women's health agenda when I first came. Women were not included in the protocols at NIH, the…

— Barbara Mikulski

I’ve tried that. I’ve tried aspirin, too. Rusty thinks I should smoke marijuana, and I did for a while, but it only makes me…

— Truman Capote

I'm sick and tired of black and white people of good intent giving aspirin to a society that is dying of a cancerous disease.

— Ralph Abernathy

“We are living in a cultural dark age of musical pollution. You put the radio on, and five minutes later you need an aspirin.”

— Vangelis

Professionalism in medicine has given us medial miracles for the affluent but hospitals that will charge $35 for aspirin.

— Bill James

We have had two chickens in every pot, two cars in every garage, and now we have two headaches for every aspirin.

— Fiorello H. La Guardia

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

— John Barrymore