If you don't have a hernia yet then you're not pulling…

A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.

— W. C. Fields

My boy is a mean kid. I came home the other day and saw him taping worms to the sidewalk, he sits there and…

— Rodney Dangerfield

By exercising your stomach muscles, you wring out the body, you don't catch colds, you don't get cancer, you don't get hernias. Do animals…

— Joseph Pilates

I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you."

— Rodney Dangerfield

A preacher was operated on for a hernia. As this was about the time of the first world war he was given ether. As…

— Art Linkletter

Not only weight loss surgery is unnecessary but also it deprives human being a normal life. People after surgery would never be able to…

— Subodh Gupta

If any of you get hernias in this tug-of-war against the Army, I'll pay to get them fixed.

— Robert E. Haebel

The rule of thumb for the old backpacking was that the weight of your pack should equal the weight of yourself and the kitchen…

— Patrick F. McManus

The difference between EAZY E the artist and Eric Wright the human being, was two separate worlds apart. Behind closed doors, Eazy-E was a…

— Kokane

After age twelve, birthdays should be as private as hernia surgery.

— Erma Bombeck

I've gotten hernias from drummers when they drop tempo.

— Miles Davis

Telling a writer to relax is like telling a man to relax while being prodded for a possible hernia.

— William Zinsser

My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.

— Rodney Dangerfield

Computers are scary. They're nightmares to fix, lose our stuff, and, on occasion, they crash, producing the blue screen of death. Steve Jobs knew…

— Wesley Morris

Look at Ukraine. Its currency, the hernia, is plunging. The euro is really in a problem. Greece is problematic as to whether it can…

— Michael Hudson