[Arthur] "Er... Just how much did you have to drink?"…

“Arthur shook his head. "You'd be an appalling mother, Morgana. You're a terrible example, you know," he said, handing her the bottle. "God help…

— FayJay

“Look, it's all right for you. You don't have to walk along pulling the damned bin while you're wearing a bloody great dress that…

— FayJay

“Good grief," said Merlin. "You look like the bastard child of Dumbledore and David Bowie. No, sorry, Dumbledore and Ziggy Stardust.”

— FayJay

“It's a stage name," said Arthur, impatiently. "Like Madonna." "No, Madonna's actual name is Madonna," pointed out Merlin. "Oh my God, stop flaunting your…

— FayJay

“Oh, shit," said Arthur, covering his face with his hands for a moment and screwing his eyes shut."You've been co-opted.She's got you spying on…

— FayJay

“It turned out that it was difficult to stay cross with a man when you could see his nipples.”

— FayJay

“There – that was the awkward 'I think you're lovely and I do hope we can be friends but, oh, by the way, please…

— FayJay

“I don't think you're going to pull the wool over anyone's eyes with all this macrame talk.”

— FayJay

“Second star to the right, and straight on till morning. Another stupid adventure. Come and be king of the world?”

— FayJay

“Its like Mrs Fitzherbert all over again, or that bloody Simpson woman! I do not believe it!" "Sorry," said Merlin, wondering who the blazes…

— FayJay

“Merlin smiled. "Thank you, sir! It was just Game Theory." "It was just – is this a Maths thing?" "Well, Maths and Philosophy, and..."…

— FayJay

“The who with the what now?"The dragon cocked its head to one side and gave this utterance careful consideration. "I'm afraid that I don't…

— FayJay

“You know you're having a crappy morning when the best that can be said for it is that at least you're not a Smurf.”

— FayJay

“[Arthur to Merlin] I'm the Prince of Wales, and you're Welsh. I can do whatever I bloody well like to you.”

— FayJay

“You are totally Cinderella," Gwen said, undeterred. "You're a big-eared, trouser-wearing, penis-having, magic-wielding Cinderella, if ever there was one." "I – you – what…

— FayJay