I don't share John Gottman's distaste for the pursuit of…
““I don't share John Gottman's distaste for the pursuit of self actualization through marriage, but I do share his view that there is no shame in pursuing the "good enough marriage". Lofty expectations can help us achieve martial bliss , but they can also produce disappointment and resentment. For many of us, and for much of the time, having a stable marriage characterized by respect and appreciation is sufficient, perhaps even ideal. We have other relationships, and perhaps we can achieve our deepest connections through them. We have books to read, and perhaps we can pursue our voyage of self-discovery and personal growth trough them. And, yes, we have hands and electronic devices , and perhaps we can achieve sexual gratification through them. If we fulfill many of our needs elsewhere, perhaps we can focus on building a marriage in which each of us works to appreciate the other's preferences and priorities, one that lacks pizzazz but serves as a peaceful, loving place for our grandchildren to wake up to on Christmas morning.””
About This Quote
This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.
A "good enough" marriage, grounded in respect, can be fulfilling; while high expectations may cause disappointment.
In simple terms: Respectful, realistic marriage works.
Key Takeaway
Value respect over perfection.
Themes
marriage
expectations
contentment
realism
relationships
Mood
thoughtful
calm
Type
relationship
self‑help
When to use this quote
- family life
- relationship counseling
- self‑actualization
Key Concepts
good enough marriage
marital satisfaction
personal growth
Questions to Reflect On
- What makes a marriage feel "good enough"?
- How do you balance expectations and reality?
A Different Perspective
High expectations can still cause strain.