One reason it's so difficult to decide what to say became…

In dialogue, there is opposition, yes, but no head-on collision. Smashing heads does not open minds.

— Deborah Tannen

Cooperation isn't the absence of conflict but a means of managing conflict.

— Deborah Tannen

Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence

— Deborah Tannen

“A woman will be inclined to repeat a request that doesn't get a response because she is convinced that her husband would do what…

— Deborah Tannen

Like most men, my father is interested in action. And this is why he disappoints my mother when she tells him she doesn't feel…

— Deborah Tannen

“...You're so real. That's why we love you." ... Her friend's response reflected the reciprocity of showing vulnerability. It is a gift not only…

— Deborah Tannen

The desire for freedom and independence becomes more of an issue for many men in relationships, whereas interdependence and connection become more of an…

— Deborah Tannen

To say anything about women and men without marking oneself as either feminist or anti-feminist, male-basher or apologist for men seems as impossible for…

— Deborah Tannen

Communication is a continualbalancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacyand independence. To survivein the world, we have to act in concert with others,…

— Deborah Tannen

Treating people the same is not equal treatment if they are not the same.

— Deborah Tannen

All conversation, in addition to whatever else it does, displays, and asks for recognition of, our competence.

— Deborah Tannen

When those closest to us respond to events differently than we do, when they seem to see the same scene as part of a…

— Deborah Tannen

For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships.

— Deborah Tannen

Life is a matter of dealing with other people, in little matters and cataclysmic ones, and that means a series of conversations.

— Deborah Tannen

“So there it is: Boys and girls grow up in different worlds, but we think we're in the same one, so we judge each…

— Deborah Tannen