I was more than willing to put aside the Charley Davidson…

He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.

— Darynda Jones

I have three words for you," EMT Guy said. "Possible internal bleeding." I turned back to him. "Don't you think if I was bleeding…

— Darynda Jones

See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!

— Darynda Jones

When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.

— Darynda Jones

God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.

— Darynda Jones

“Oh, my god, I don't know. What do you want?" "You," he said, his voice lowering an octave. "I want you, Dutch, body and…

— Darynda Jones

“Las mujeres que se portan bien no suelen hacer historia.”

— Darynda Jones

“If ever there was a time to carry a flashlight, it would definitely be at night.”

— Darynda Jones

In three hundred feet, turn right," Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him…

— Darynda Jones

“The asshole slipped Peggy a five-spot to bring him his burger first. Never trust a man with a penis.”

— Darynda Jones

“I reported to work the next morning looking like something the cat dragged in, half eaten yet somehow still alive.”

— Darynda Jones

It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.

— Darynda Jones

“One day, I’m going to get to the bottom of you, Charley Davidson.” I had no idea she was into anal.”

— Darynda Jones

“We should date." I laughed, curled him into my arms, and kissed the soft spot underneath his earlobe. "You're going to have to go…

— Darynda Jones

“A girl, a mocha latte, and a naked dead man walk into a bar,”

— Darynda Jones