It wouldn't bother me in the least if all the dogs in the…
““It wouldn't bother me in the least if all the dogs in the world weere placed in a large sack and taken to some distant island - Greenland springs attractively to mind - where they could romp around and sniff each other's anuses to their hearts' content and would never bother or terrorize me again. The only kind of dog I would excuse from this roundup is poodles. Poodles I would shoot. To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you. They are harmless, they look nice, they don't need a box to crap in, they keep the grass down, and they are so trusting and stupid that you can't help but lose your heart to them. Where I live in Yorkshire, there's a herd of cows down the lane. You can stand by the wall at any hour of the day or night, and after a minute the cows will all waddle over and stand with you, much too stupid to know what to do next, but happy just to be with you. They will stand there all day, as far as I can tell, possibly till the end of time. They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of the, you can kill them and eat them. Perfect.””
About This Quote
This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.
The speaker contrasts dogs, which he finds annoying, with cows, which he sees as gentle, loyal companions that can be both friends and food.
In simple terms: Cows are preferred over dogs for their calm nature and usefulness
Key Takeaway
Appreciate simple, dependable companions.
Themes
animals
companionship
utility
humor
Mood
reflectful
lighthearted
contemplative
Type
humorous
philosophical
observational
When to use this quote
- visiting a farm
- seeking comfort
- considering livestock for food
- reflecting on pet preferences
Key Concepts
anthropomorphism
ethical paradox
rural life
Questions to Reflect On
- What qualities make an animal a good companion?
- How do we reconcile affection with utilitarian use of animals?
A Different Perspective
The view may oversimplify animal sentience and ignores ethical concerns about killing friends.