I knew that drinking and doing stand-up was going to make me less of an effective comedian. And I just had a… — Greg Fitzsimmons Comedian Copy Share Image
Rescuing dogs is looked upon as a noble, trendy pursuit. But wouldn't rescuing a man from a homeless shelter be, in fact,… — Greg Fitzsimmons Animal Copy Share Image
What is most difficult is when the large part of me that is a narcissist grows weary and is overtaken by the… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
My father told me when I first started that standup is exciting and I should pursue it, but that writing would be… — Greg Fitzsimmons Ability Copy Share Image
Lieutenant Governor Paterson - blind, black guy - gets sworn in. First thing he says is, 'By the way, cheated on my… — Greg Fitzsimmons Accidents Copy Share Image
I've finally been able to trust and have intimacy with somebody, which I've never been able to do. Like a lot of… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
As a single couple, we are no longer able to hang around with married couples 'cause they cannot be in our presence… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
Trickle-down economics - it didn't work. The whole idea was supply-side economics: give rich people a lot of money; they'll spend it,… — Greg Fitzsimmons Economics Copy Share Image
My friend goes, 'If you're going to use Rogaine, just put it somewhere you're going to remember to use it everyday.' So… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
When I work in San Francisco doing stand-up, I usually schedule it for July, and we'll drive up the coast and camp… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
Growing up with Bronx Irish parents during an era of protests against the status quo, I was especially committed to doing the… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
I don't gamble anymore since I had a kid. I have fun in Vegas. I see shows, Cirque du Soleil. Don Rickles… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
I don't like to change things too much. I think pretty hard about things before I jump in, and once I do,… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
My dad was in radio; he was a broadcaster, and it was in the family. He hosted kind of a game show… — Greg Fitzsimmons Broadcaster Copy Share Image
