Bob Newhart

You're not dead at 85. You're a long way from it. Go out and enjoy. You've earned it.

— Bob Newhart

There are some actresses that can't do comedy; it's too heavy-handed.

— Bob Newhart

I just don't think most people put myself and Robert Frost in the same category.

— Bob Newhart

I'm glad you can't talk on your cells while the plane is in the air. That would drive me crazy.

— Bob Newhart

Mark Twain gave us an insight into the life on the Mississippi at the turn of the century.

— Bob Newhart

Humor is so important to the American scene throughout history.

— Bob Newhart

There's a lot of cynicism. Let's really enjoy Christmas, with all that's going on in the world.

— Bob Newhart

I have to warn you, I'm not just some sitcom guy. I'm now an author.

— Bob Newhart

I worked in accounting for two and a half years, realized that wasn't what I wanted to do with the rest of…

— Bob Newhart

I know Chuck Lorre personally, and am familiar with his work going back to 'Roseanne' and 'Cybil.'

— Bob Newhart

I don't have a stack of scripts that, when I get home, studios are clamoring, saying, 'Has Bob read ours yet?'

— Bob Newhart

I left 'The Bob Newhart Show,' which was my decision. CBS wanted it to go on. But I could see television changing;…

— Bob Newhart

I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I…

— Bob Newhart

There's gratification in making somebody laugh. It's a wonderful sound. I find myself, to this day, doing it, wanting to make people…

— Bob Newhart

I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though you're poking fun at someone or something, there's…

— Bob Newhart

People have told me, 'My dad passed on, but I have great memories of watching your shows with him.' It doesn't get…

— Bob Newhart

It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short…

— Bob Newhart

Well, if you’re a native Chicagoan, you know how dumb he [Dr. Robert Hartley] is. He gets on the Ravenswood El, he…

— Bob Newhart

I just made the decision that I was going to try comedy, and if didn't work, then I knew it didn't work.…

— Bob Newhart

The best advice I was probably given and the best advice I could give someone who is trying to get into the…

— Bob Newhart

Stammering is different than stuttering. Stutterers have trouble with the letters, while stammerers trip over entire parts of a sentence. We stammerers…

— Bob Newhart

It was a decision to work clean. I just prefer to work that way. I have no problem with comedians who don't…

— Bob Newhart

I was never a Certified Public Accountant... I just had a degree in accounting. The reason I was never a Certified Public…

— Bob Newhart

There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from…

— Bob Newhart

I was influenced by every comedian I ever saw work. That's the only way you learn how to do it.

— Bob Newhart

All I can say about life is, 'Oh God, enjoy it!'

— Bob Newhart

I would say I came from upper middle class family.

— Bob Newhart

A lot of money is spent trying to keep people alive who don't necessarily want to be alive.

— Bob Newhart

Don't live in the past. There's no point. You can't change anything. What a waste of time.

— Bob Newhart

The only way to survive is to have a sense of humour.

— Bob Newhart

I've been married forty-five years. I think laughter is the secret.

— Bob Newhart

I don't think of myself as an American Master. I've just been making a living.

— Bob Newhart

No matter what hyenas sound like, they are not actually laughing.

— Bob Newhart

I wasn't much good. When I went into the line on a fake - I would holler 'I don't have it!'

— Bob Newhart

There isn't a comedian in the world that hasn't bombed.

— Bob Newhart

This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now.

— Bob Newhart

Stand-up is different from television. In stand-up, you've got to be in control.

— Bob Newhart

The acting is better when you know your material is being judged.

— Bob Newhart

I couldn't play off people that I don't personally like.

— Bob Newhart

I made a record album in 1960 and it exploded, and I got all these offers for TV.

— Bob Newhart