Al Swearengen

Don't forget to kill Tim.

— Al Swearengen

Pain or damage don't end the world...

— Al Swearengen

I wouldn't trust a man who wouldn't try to steal a little.

— Al Swearengen

Let's leave it all alone. I'm stupidest when I try to be funny.

— Al Swearengen

Act averse to nasty language and partial to fruity tea.

— Al Swearengen

Don't I yearn for the days when a draw across the throat made f**king resolution.

— Al Swearengen

You can't slit the throat of everyone whose character it would improve.

— Al Swearengen

God rest the souls of that poor family... and pussy's half price for the next 15 minutes.

— Al Swearengen

Change ain't looking for friends. Change calls the tune we all dance to.

— Al Swearengen

The question is: until reinforced, can we learn the ways of church mice.

— Al Swearengen

Yeah, the cut throats and the pigs. But who wants all that blood spilled, judge, huh? Isn't there a simpler way of…

— Al Swearengen

They butt into other people's business; and make the business of other's their own - these bought-out, no good cocksuckers.

— Al Swearengen

Wild Bill Hickok and those two guys that walked past you downstairs save the squarehead kid; tell Ned to stick around so…

— Al Swearengen

Bloodletting on my premises that I ain't approved I take as a f***ing affront. It puts me off my feed.

— Al Swearengen

The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some…

— Al Swearengen

“Announcing your plans is a good way to make God laugh.”

— Al Swearengen

Announcin' your plans is a good way to hear god laugh.

— Al Swearengen

The obvious merits utterance. Character is f**king pertinent.

— Al Swearengen