Abe Lemons

I don't jog, if I die I want to be sick.

— Abe Lemons

You always catch the wrong players.

— Abe Lemons

Hell no. When I die I want to be sick.

— Abe Lemons

We did have three go to the YMCA.

— Abe Lemons

You mean in the state?

— Abe Lemons

One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good.

— Abe Lemons

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

— Abe Lemons

Damn referees, I'll miss them less than anybody.

— Abe Lemons

I'd rather be a football coach. That way you only lose eleven games a year.

— Abe Lemons

I don't have any tricky plays, I'd rather have tricky players.

— Abe Lemons

Coaches who shoot par in the summer are the guys I want on my schedule in the winter.

— Abe Lemons

There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket.

— Abe Lemons

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

— Abe Lemons

If I make a set of rules, then a guy goes out and steals an airplane. He comes back and says, 'It…

— Abe Lemons

You know what they call the fellow who finishes last in his medical school graduating class? They call him 'Doctor.'

— Abe Lemons

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

— Abe Lemons

They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn't make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay.

— Abe Lemons

I don't understand these new coaches who don't drink. What do they do when they get beat?

— Abe Lemons

You may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you're nobody.

— Abe Lemons

It was a hole in one contest and I had a three.

— Abe Lemons