I did not ask for consciousness, yet it came to me. And I…
““I did not ask for consciousness, yet it came to me. And I had to know. Once again, I crawled away from my bed and pushed the computer cord back into the socket. It took three minutes. I quickly identified myself and put in my password. Then it thought. I wanted to bounce impatiently, but I couldn’t make myself move. At last, I found the internet, and I typed in a name, on the company page, under my account. I searched ‘images’. And there, on the screen in front of me, was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen. I couldn’t stop the tears from welling up and spilling over as I stared back at the smiling face. It couldn’t be him. It was. Derek Erickson. And I was going to kill him.””
About This Quote
This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.
A narrator confronts an unexpected, overwhelming attraction to an online image, leading to a violent impulse.
In simple terms: Unexpected attraction triggers violent thoughts.
Key Takeaway
Recognize and manage obsessive impulses.
Themes
obsession
technology
violence
identity
desire
Mood
disturbed
intense
conflicted
Type
personal narrative
psychological
When to use this quote
- online dating
- social media browsing
- personal crisis
- self‑control challenges
Key Concepts
psychology
digital media
emotional regulation
Questions to Reflect On
- What triggers your strongest urges?
- How can you intervene before acting on harmful thoughts?
A Different Perspective
The narrative may romanticize harmful obsession, ignoring healthier coping.